Please, Mr. Ashcroft
words & music: Ann Reed • © 2002 Turtlecub Publishing
I have ever indicated for the uninitiated
Arts are open wide to one and all
Open to whomever buys it why not dive right in and try it
Satisfy that urging, inner call
Acting, dancing, writing, singing
Sculpting butter, maybe stringing beads, whatever, anything is fine
Something happened I must mention
Begging for my full attention
I now announce I may have changed my mind:
Please, Mr. Ashcroft, don't write songs anymore
I just heard your tune and of you I must implore
Your singing isn't…awful, and I know it's deeply felt
But I'm wishing you collected stamps like Franklin Roosevelt
Please, Mr. A.G., find something else
Oh, Mr. Ashcroft, if you really must
Obey your muse then do it without inflicting it on us
I know the job is stressful and you must find some release
Don't make me think back fondly
On John Mitchell and Edwin Meese
Please, Mr. A.G., do not proceed
Late at night with great dispatch, you're writing songs with Orrin Hatch
You hand them to a captive staff, the patriot's sing and the others laugh
Please Mr. Ashcroft I got big, bad dreams at night
Rumsfeld's in an opera starring Condoleeza Rice
Ari Fleischer's dancing, ballet tights he's quite the lad
You gotta stop this stuff before I hear your boss is in a band
Please, Mr. A.G., I know you can
So, you've joined the club yeah, good for you
But you forgot to pay your dues
If the bad guys give you the blues
You'll love a record deal, it's true
Oh, please…Mr. A.G…find something new.